Tag Archives: abnormal

Let me tell you a secret…there is no such thing as normal

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Shortly after I first started talking to my now best friend, who happened to be at the time a Mother of 4, and pregnant, we were on the phone and she was venting about all the crazy shit her kids had been doing, when she got to a story about how her stepson had taken off his diaper and played in his poop, Her exact words were  “That is not normal”

None of her other children at the time had done it, why would he do something like that?

Well that’s a mighty fine question, I can’t begin to tell you the number of times I have asked myself and anyone who would listen to me  that same question, and there is never a good explanation other than children are just plain weird.

It was the not normal part that stuck with me, because C had went through a lengthy phase where she would remove her diaper in the middle of the night and cover her crib, carpet, and herself in poo.  I too had asked What the fuck, why would she do that! I mean seriously who enjoys playing in poo, and she didn’t do it thinking it would be a fun game and then decide it wasn’t, nope she would sit there covered in poo, smiling her big almost toothless grin,  or sucking on her pacifier, looking like an outhouse had flown out of the back of a truck and crashed through her ceiling.  She never cried when she did it, for the most part the only  way we knew that we would be walking into a world of shit literally was that she would be quiet way past the time she normally woke up.

The husband and I always handled it like true adults and never fought over who would clean it up, and I NEVER ever begged and pleaded or bribed him to clean it, Honest! The first few times  I threw the sheets away ( no way was I washing that) and said a little prayer that she wouldn’t want to play in her poo again, until about the 10th time she did it and I realized if I didn’t learn to wash the sheets we were going to go broke and be eating Ramen for dinner every night.   I did some crazy things trying to get her to stop doing it, including waiting for her to poop before I put her to bed or down for a nap, and  duct taping her diaper on, but my child was like a mini Houdini so the duct tape thing never really worked out.

The thing is until this conversation I had never wondered if it was normal, and now I was, which really confused me because if another kid was doing it, it had to be normal right?  I thought about that statement all night, and then it finally hit me, nothing is normal when it comes to parenting, well almost nothing, and that’s okay! As parents we worry way too much about what is and isn’t normal, and how to get our child to stop doing something that society says they shouldn’t be doing anymore, but let me clue you  in on a little secret, I have never seen a college student that was still attached to his/her binky, bottle or sippy cup, I have never seen one still in diapers because they still were refusing to use the potty, and I certainly have never seen one remove said diaper and make a nice drawing with their poo..thing is there is a 99.9% possibility that at some point your child will stop wanting to do those things, until then learn to laugh and remember somewhere out there a mother is going through the exact same thing you are, and they are just has frustrated as you!

Now do you want to know the secret to get baby to stop removing their diaper and playing in their poo? Of course you do right, well you do if your child likes this game.  So here it is :  Footed pajamas with a zipper or snaps, put on backwards! If it is summer feel free to cut them into shorts, it won’t look pretty but it will get the job done!   I’ll never really know if C lost the urge to play in her poop, because mommy figured out this trick and finally won a round 🙂

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