Tag Archives: army

Who’s there? DADDY!

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Even though we did an extremely long car ride to get home C didn’t know that Daddy would be here when we got here.  She knew he was coming soon, but that was about it, so when we first got here we had her knock on the door and I videotaped her reaction.  It was kind of funny because she froze for a couple seconds like she couldn’t process what was going on.

A did know Dad was going to be here, and he was also excited to see him, although he was also pretty darn excited to get reunited with all of his toys, to be honest C was too! After having them in storage for 9 1/2 months it was like Christmas in August for them.

He’s home!! We are apart again and I am not liking the unknown

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On a very good note: He’s home!!!!
hes home

Seeing him for the first time in 9 months was absolutely wonderful, it is that feeling that always keeps me going. The first kiss, the first time I get to hold his hand, his arms around me for the first time at night again.  It’s almost surreal when it is happening.

I enjoyed every second of my time with my husband in El paso, among other things we cuddled, and watched movies, went out to dinner and talked, and it was almost like dating having no kids staying in a hotel.

“So dawn goes down to day, Nothing gold can stay”  ~Robert Frost

Saying goodbye AGAIN was hard, I didn’t want to leave him there, and my heart hurt, not that I couldn’t handle it but more of I am sick of handling it, I am sick of saying goodbye and I am sick of having little control over our lives together.
I am currently in freak out mode, this is mostly because I am an intense planner and a self admitted control freak, I want need to be in control, and when I am not in control I stress, that is why being an Army wife is so difficult for me.  I do not handle sitting back and waiting well and if you have any experience with the Army you know that is exactly what it is, hurry up and wait and write everything in pencil.  At the moment I have no idea when or where I am moving to, or when I will get to be with my husband again.  There are 3 factors and each one has different results:

1. He is putting in a request to be released which means hopefully we would be able to leave really soon, this is the option that we are praying for, the one that would make me a very happy girl

2. If they declined his paperwork to leave early he will put in for 60 days leave, basically making him able to leave in early December, not the best because I would still stay here and we would be apart for 4 more months, I know it is crazy to opt to stay separate, but we have reasons, such as the schooling there being a year behind schooling in the north, we do not want our children to be set back again, as A had a very hard time catching up this year, medically my daughter and I do not do well with the air in El paso, and financially it is the smarter option.  If this is the case we will probably fly him here a couple times to visit

3.  The worst case…they deny both and he can’t move to Washington until February, if this happens then we will move back to El paso because I refuse to give up that much time with my husband, which you can probably guess is just going to be a mess

The thing is I just want to know one way or the other.

I am curious to know if any of you have ever opted to stay in separate states before?  I know some do  because as I kissed my husband goodbye before boarding the plane in El paso, I watched another girl do the exact same thing and get on the plane with me.

I must admit though I am feeling a little alone on this and a little like I have no idea what the best decision is and if we are making it, or not.

We are together and together we are perfect!

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It just occurred to me that the last time I seen my husband I was not a blogger. I was 15lbs heavier.  I had lighter hair. I had not  been to college, let alone succeeded and finished college. I had no idea what it felt like to see one of my babies wheeled away into the operating room, or to break my ankle.   I had 3 less tattoos and 2 less piercings, and I was still able to have a baby.

So much has happened in 8 1/2 months, it is almost surreal.

I have to wonder how much I have changed in that amount of time, I mean I obviously have, all of those things can’t happen and leave you exactly as you were, and if I changed how much has he changed? What is different about him?

I guess it really doesn’t matter, because while I have changed I am still me, and while he may have changed he is still him, and for the moment no matter how brief we are together, and we are perfect!

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Feelings and Experiences of a Military Spouse

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Things you may not know or experience if you aren’t a military spouse:

The meaning of TDY, PCS, NTC, ETS, BCT, FOB, COB, and the list goes on
The joy of seeing a dirty pile of uniforms and combat boots on the floor, because it means they are home
How to pack a house in a day
Eating whatever scraps you have left in the house for a couple days to avoid going to the commisary on pay day
How it feels to spend countless holidays alone
What it means to have the news completely terrify you
The feeling of holding your breath while you wait for what will either be bad news for you or for someone else, and the grief that follows the relief when the bad news is not for you
Writing everything in pencil because things are constantly changing
Saying goodbye far to often
Being able to make lifetime friends in short periods of time
The sinking feeling when you hear the news that they have to go away
The heartbreak you endure kissing him/her goodbye and knowing it may be the last time
Having to explain to your children that their Daddy/Mommy can’t be there and they don’t have a choice and even though they leave a lot they still love them
How to make any house a home
The tears that fall from hearing the National Anthem
The pride that overwhelms your heart when you think about your spouse and all that they have sacrificed
The anger when your plans get cancelled for the 100th time because they need him/her there
Waiting and watching your soldier but not being able to touch them while they turn in equipment and stand in formation listening to speech upon redeployment
and last but not least
The feeling you get when you kiss them for the first time in what seems like forever….that is the feeling that makes it all worth it in the end!

Project Pillow Free program for deployed service members and children

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This program rocks my socks! The create a free pillow with a picture of the deployed soldier and the child, They will do multiples if you have more than one child, and you can send a different picture for each.  It is absolutely free, although if you have it you can donate towards shipping costs.  My children both love their pillows and sleep with them every night.

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This is the website to order from:
http://www.pillowprojectusa.com/

Meet the man beside the girl

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Let me start by saying my husband has no tattoos and no piercings and I go back and forth on rather I would like it if he got some or not(he is always talking about doing it), so anyway if he was going to get tattoos yea my name across his fingers would be fabulous, and I am well aware that every Queen needs her King as well…okay maybe not, look at Queen Elizabeth she seems to be doing just fine without a King..well lets just say I want a King….but I digress, this post is suppose to be about him:

I met my husband shortly after getting out of a 7 year relationship that was pretty toxic, ok not pretty toxic, REALLY toxic, and technically I met him while I was in said toxic relationship, but I didn’t meet him in person until 5 months after the downfall of my first major relationship.  It would suffice to say I was jaded…I certainly didn’t want another relationship, I was pretty happy being single for the first time since I was 17 and he really just seemed like a fun way to kill time…He was suppose to be my rebound relationship, and it was suppose to end. We first started talking on Xbox live after he sent me a friend request because I sticky bombed his friends face…ya see I was playing with my boys and he was playing with his, and somehow I got thrown on a team with 3 of them and one of theirs got thrown on a team with my boys, anyways that isn’t really all that important but it is the reason we started talking so thought I would throw it in.  I met him in January 2007. He was from NYC and I was from the sticks in NY, so we met in the middle, even though I was well into my adult years I told my mom I went to high school with him and he had been to our house, I know for a fact she would have tried to talk me out of going and meeting a guy from xboxlive, the funny thing is she completely believed me and the funnier thing is he is Puerto Rican,  and I had never had a PR friend over in high school…Sorry Mom! I had talked to pretty much his entire family on the phone, seen pictures and so on so I figured I was pretty safe, but just in case I left the address and phone number of where I would be on my dresser in my room, with his name, his parents name, and his address, you can never be too careful right, I mean the crazy thing is I had been considering a date with this guy from myspace 3 months earlier, ok more than considering, we had a date planned, he was from the town right next to mine, and the races seemed like a good idea, but 3 days before our date I read a news article that made my skin crawl, he had actually killed his pregnant girlfriend(no I didn’t know he had a girlfriend, or that she was pregnant) and himself….well I guess you could say I dodged a bullet there, and yet here I was 2 months later still stupid enough to meet a guy I didn’t know, but I had it figured like this, if i met a guy in a bar, a bookstore, a library or at church(if I went to church) he could be a psycho serial killer too, so lets be honest the dating world can almost always be deadly…again I digress (bare with me like I said Oh Squirrel) I could say that he swept me off my feet that first day, and that it was love at first sight, but I would be lying, what I can say without telling lies is he was AMAZING in bed…I know I know TMI, but seriously it’s a valid point, because that was pretty much what made me decide to see him again, and don’t get me wrong sure he was sweet, pretty much would do anything for me, but that’s not what got me, well not that first day anyways.  We spent the weekend together, and it was by all standards a great weekend, afterwards we talked all the time, and would meet up here and there, he would tell me that i was going to marry him one day and I kept saying it wasn’t going to happen, one day came sooner than I thought…but we’ll get to that in a minute.  So when did I actually know he was right?  I called him one day and I had a cold I told him I was sick and to come take care of me, I was joking, I never really actually thought he would come take care of me over a friggin cold, but about 4 1/2 hours later I was doing something in the kitchen when my dad said that D was at the door….I was totally all yea fuckin right dad, and he was all I’m serious, and sure enough he was, he had actually taken a bus and a cab to come take care of me….at that very moment I knew I would marry him. My son and him hit it off from the beginning, he was great with him and they both loved video games so it was nice.  In June some crazy stuff happened between his family and him, and me and him that I am just not getting into in this post but to take a long story right to the point, I picked him and his stuff up and boom we were living together, we got our own apartment, he got a job, and he held up to a promise he made and had me quit mine, finally giving me the opportunity to be a stay at home mom, something I had never been.  Life was good, he wasn’t like the last relationship(and still isn’t, although the honeymoon phase has definitely passed), In July he started talking about joining the army, he had a goal, become PA and get out, so I figured if it was what he really wanted to do I could deal with it for a little while, and he went through the beginning process of joining, in August I got pregnant with our daughter, he was ecstatic, I was nervous(but again another story for a later time), He proposed to me on the beach at Coney Island, and on November 17 2007 we got married, in a small ceremony at my parents house, no we didn’t rush because I we were having a baby, we rushed because his paperwork had went through and he was officially going to be a soldier in the US Army, 3 days after we got married the recruiter came and took him away for BCT, that is how I became a military wife, and where I believe made the worst mistake of my life, I should have begged him not to do it, we are almost 6 years in now and it has became a career choice instead of an in and out, had I known then, we wouldn’t be here now, but like I said before it is what it is, He loves the Army and I love my soldier!