Tag Archives: deployment

Who’s there? DADDY!

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Even though we did an extremely long car ride to get home C didn’t know that Daddy would be here when we got here.  She knew he was coming soon, but that was about it, so when we first got here we had her knock on the door and I videotaped her reaction.  It was kind of funny because she froze for a couple seconds like she couldn’t process what was going on.

A did know Dad was going to be here, and he was also excited to see him, although he was also pretty darn excited to get reunited with all of his toys, to be honest C was too! After having them in storage for 9 1/2 months it was like Christmas in August for them.

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He’s home!! We are apart again and I am not liking the unknown

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On a very good note: He’s home!!!!
hes home

Seeing him for the first time in 9 months was absolutely wonderful, it is that feeling that always keeps me going. The first kiss, the first time I get to hold his hand, his arms around me for the first time at night again.  It’s almost surreal when it is happening.

I enjoyed every second of my time with my husband in El paso, among other things we cuddled, and watched movies, went out to dinner and talked, and it was almost like dating having no kids staying in a hotel.

“So dawn goes down to day, Nothing gold can stay”  ~Robert Frost

Saying goodbye AGAIN was hard, I didn’t want to leave him there, and my heart hurt, not that I couldn’t handle it but more of I am sick of handling it, I am sick of saying goodbye and I am sick of having little control over our lives together.
I am currently in freak out mode, this is mostly because I am an intense planner and a self admitted control freak, I want need to be in control, and when I am not in control I stress, that is why being an Army wife is so difficult for me.  I do not handle sitting back and waiting well and if you have any experience with the Army you know that is exactly what it is, hurry up and wait and write everything in pencil.  At the moment I have no idea when or where I am moving to, or when I will get to be with my husband again.  There are 3 factors and each one has different results:

1. He is putting in a request to be released which means hopefully we would be able to leave really soon, this is the option that we are praying for, the one that would make me a very happy girl

2. If they declined his paperwork to leave early he will put in for 60 days leave, basically making him able to leave in early December, not the best because I would still stay here and we would be apart for 4 more months, I know it is crazy to opt to stay separate, but we have reasons, such as the schooling there being a year behind schooling in the north, we do not want our children to be set back again, as A had a very hard time catching up this year, medically my daughter and I do not do well with the air in El paso, and financially it is the smarter option.  If this is the case we will probably fly him here a couple times to visit

3.  The worst case…they deny both and he can’t move to Washington until February, if this happens then we will move back to El paso because I refuse to give up that much time with my husband, which you can probably guess is just going to be a mess

The thing is I just want to know one way or the other.

I am curious to know if any of you have ever opted to stay in separate states before?  I know some do  because as I kissed my husband goodbye before boarding the plane in El paso, I watched another girl do the exact same thing and get on the plane with me.

I must admit though I am feeling a little alone on this and a little like I have no idea what the best decision is and if we are making it, or not.

We are together and together we are perfect!

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It just occurred to me that the last time I seen my husband I was not a blogger. I was 15lbs heavier.  I had lighter hair. I had not  been to college, let alone succeeded and finished college. I had no idea what it felt like to see one of my babies wheeled away into the operating room, or to break my ankle.   I had 3 less tattoos and 2 less piercings, and I was still able to have a baby.

So much has happened in 8 1/2 months, it is almost surreal.

I have to wonder how much I have changed in that amount of time, I mean I obviously have, all of those things can’t happen and leave you exactly as you were, and if I changed how much has he changed? What is different about him?

I guess it really doesn’t matter, because while I have changed I am still me, and while he may have changed he is still him, and for the moment no matter how brief we are together, and we are perfect!

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My exciting news

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If you read my blog post July the month of go aways giveaways birthdays surgeries and a special surprise  Then you know that my husband should be home from Afghanistan VERY soon, and you also probably know that I am in NY and he’s going back to FT Bliss TX, and I am moving to Washington State next month, I was pretty sad about that especially since it could be another 4 months before I see him.  So I did something about it, I bought plane tickets, rented a hotel room, and gave my husband some great news last night, :I’ll see you when you get home!” He was super excited to find out I would be there, and I am super excited to see him, even if it means 2 ten hour plane trips, at least I can read or something because I’ll be alone right? The munchkins are staying with their Grandpa, Grandma, and Titi in NYC, so they will be well taken care of.  My only hope is that it doesn’t make it worse, seeing him for only a couple days.  It will definitely be a different feeling because this is the first time he will be saying goodbye and putting me on a plane…good luck baby, good luck!

Also stay tuned, tomorrow I will be posting a GIVEAWAY!

Feelings and Experiences of a Military Spouse

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Things you may not know or experience if you aren’t a military spouse:

The meaning of TDY, PCS, NTC, ETS, BCT, FOB, COB, and the list goes on
The joy of seeing a dirty pile of uniforms and combat boots on the floor, because it means they are home
How to pack a house in a day
Eating whatever scraps you have left in the house for a couple days to avoid going to the commisary on pay day
How it feels to spend countless holidays alone
What it means to have the news completely terrify you
The feeling of holding your breath while you wait for what will either be bad news for you or for someone else, and the grief that follows the relief when the bad news is not for you
Writing everything in pencil because things are constantly changing
Saying goodbye far to often
Being able to make lifetime friends in short periods of time
The sinking feeling when you hear the news that they have to go away
The heartbreak you endure kissing him/her goodbye and knowing it may be the last time
Having to explain to your children that their Daddy/Mommy can’t be there and they don’t have a choice and even though they leave a lot they still love them
How to make any house a home
The tears that fall from hearing the National Anthem
The pride that overwhelms your heart when you think about your spouse and all that they have sacrificed
The anger when your plans get cancelled for the 100th time because they need him/her there
Waiting and watching your soldier but not being able to touch them while they turn in equipment and stand in formation listening to speech upon redeployment
and last but not least
The feeling you get when you kiss them for the first time in what seems like forever….that is the feeling that makes it all worth it in the end!

Send a free photo book to your deployed soldier

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In honor of Father’s day and because my husband is spending his Father’s Day in Iraq I wanted to share this great program through the USO and Rocketlife.  This one is for the family to make something special for the soldier.  I made one for my husband, and he loved it.  It is small enough to carry around in their cargo pockets yet large enough that you can fit over 60 photos.  It took about 2 weeks for my husband to receive his, which is pretty quick.  So if you want to do something nice for your soldier, send him a bunch of home photos he is sure to love, and the best part it’s absolutely FREE! Click on the link to get started!

Make a photo book

United through reading Free program for deployed soldiers and children

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Recently my children received packages in the mail from their Daddy who is in Afghanistan.  Inside the packages were books, and with the books were DVD’s of their Daddy reading them the books.  They were both super excited to see Daddy, and to get new books.

Daddy book2daddy book1daddy book

Let’s pretend my bed was made shall we? It would have been except my children immediately wanted to see their Daddy and I wasn’t going to stop them, so I waited and it was worth it.  The looks on their faces were priceless.

The program is awesome, and they have some great books.   It really does help soldiers connect with their munchkins from far away, and what child doesn’t like getting a package especially from another country.

If you have a deployed soldier or know someone who does, have them ask about this program or if their is a USO near them, they can also use this link to get more information 🙂

USO United Through Reading

Catching Butterflies

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Things have been so crazy in Afghanistan, particularly in the area my husband is in, It has really started to get to me, I have a slight issue where I always tend to panic the last couple months of deployment anyway, I blame it all on songs and movies, since in those something always happens to the soldier right before he is suppose to come home, they have me pretty much convinced that it will go down that way, and even though this isn’t our first deployment go round, It still gets to me.  Losing 8  soldiers from Ft Bliss and my husbands brigade, some I knew and some I didn’t  has done nothing to ease my mind either, I think about each one of them and their families everyday and then I worry more and more.  My husband has also been out on quite a few missions lately so I have came to the conclusion that he is going to have to start calling going on a mission catching butterflies, It sounds a lot more pleasant, I mean who gets hurt catching butterflies right?

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