I got pregnant with A when I was 18, and he was planned, which is odd when you are 18, but I wanted a baby, and what’s even more odd, is I am totally happy I made that choice, and not happy in the way that I am happy I had him because I wouldn’t take it back because I love him(which is also true), but happy in the way that parenting at 19 was so much easier than parenting at 26…yup get your young daughter out of the room before she sees this and your a grandma! Anyways I found out I was pregnant for my son in November of 2000 I was currently living in Columbus OH with his biological father, and I was bouncing off the walls happy, but I was also scared shitless, this wasn’t my first pregnancy and the first one ended horribly(another time I will explain) but I was completely convinced that something would happen to my baby, and couple that with the hormones I was a basket case, We ended up moving back home to be near my parents in Maryland because I was so damn emotional, I once cried because I spilled a plant, I seriously sat there in hysterics completely devastated looking at the dirt that had spilled out, and while I was sitting there all I could think is what the fuck is wrong with you, you are going crazy, who the fuck cries over a knocked over plant, the answer was a pregnant woman, having a little spawn growing in you does all types of shit to your emotions, it was almost like being bi-polar, at least I imagine it was almost like that, since that is one of the few issues I do not have, well except for during my pregnancy, I could no longer watch sad movies, or even fucking animal planet, but I would torture myself with a baby story…yea wanna completely mind fuck yourself while you are pregnant, just watch a baby story, Oh My, I not only cried continuously but I also became a paranoid psycho, I was convinced I was going to have to have a C-section and I was petrified of an episiotimy
(yes google it is a fucking word). As I got further along, I stopped being quite as emotional, all of the tests had came back normal and I began believing that this time it might actually work out, I was still all worked up about the birth but not so much everything else, sad movies and knocked over plants again became just sad movies and knocked over plants, and I was one of the lucky pregnant women I suppose because while I gained a whopping 62lbs I didn’t have any of the other usual complaints, no morning sickness, no acne, no weird blemishes, 3rd nipples or any of that other stuff, and I actually felt pretty good, I was rocking this pregnancy thing, and to top it off I found out I was having a boy which is exactly what I wanted! At 32 weeks I went to the doctor and got diagnosed with preeclampsia I was ordered on bed rest but that wasn’t happening, ya see said biological father still didn’t have a job and I was working 2, so now between working 2 jobs and being pregnant I now had to go to the doctors for non stress tests and ultrasounds, and for any of you that haven’t been through that, well it was probably my payback for not having any of the other problems, 3 hours appointments every other day really puts a kink in your life…at 38 weeks 5 days I went in for my standard non stress test and the doc asked me if I was ready to have this baby HELL YEA I have been ready to have this baby for 9 fucking months, let’s do it….and so it was scheduled for the next day, I went home feeling on top of the world, I was finally going to get this rib crushing, blood pressure raising thing out of me! That feeling lasted until about 4am when I abruptly decided he could just stay in there forever because I was not going through child birth, maybe it had been one baby story too many, I informed my mom at 5am when we were suppose to be getting ready to leave, that I changed my mind and I wasn’t having a baby afterall HA like that’s a possibility 3 hours later I was laying in a hospital bed watching the fuckwad that was his B.Father eat Mcdonalds pancakes, having the nerve to tell me that the water breaking smelled bad, and screaming for a fucking epidural NOW! Doctors were checking and rechecking, upping and lowering my potocin which was making me pretty nervous, but I got my epidural and went back to being my calm self(which isn’t all that calm) and to all you mommies who did it without any pain meds….you are fucking stupid…ok seriously maybe not, maybe you are just more woman than me, but WHY would anyone want to actually feel that? 30 minutes later my doctor came in and whispered something to my mother and the other mother, and in a tiny whisper the other mother said to my mother that I knew that all along….and of course with my super sonic, paranoid hearing, I heard every word at which point I blurted out “I AM NOT HAVING A C-SECTION” that’s when the good ole doc walked over and informed me that yes I was, my sons heart rate was dropping and they needed to get him out, Well fuck…isn’t this spectacular, and so then I went into plan B…begging to be put to sleep before the C-section, which was a no go, so within a few minutes I was wheeled into the OR and my son joined this world, He was the most perfect goo covered baby I had ever seen. and I already knew I would die for that kid.
Funny story is my son is half black and when he came out he was pretty white, my mom was crying and I figured it was because he had been born but later found out she thought I had cheated and he wasn’t his B. fathers kid…well thanks mom now I know what you really think of me, and for the record he is definitely his even though I wish he wasn’t