Tuesday was quite a day for me, I mean seriously, it was so crazy that I am just now catching up and able to write about it. Since people so kindly love to laugh at my misery, and I am not against laughing at myself I thought I would share 🙂
A little back story because you will need it
#1 I have a hard time sleeping at night, It’s awful, it’s not like I don’t want to sleep I just can’t sleep, I can be exhausted all day, put the munchkins to bed, lay down and my mind won’t shut off and I am up all night
#2 Behind Mayonnaise or maybe before it, it’s a close call my biggest fear is cockroaches, I am obsessive about it, they freak me out just looking the way they look and knowing they can completely infest your home freaks me out even more…yea okay my 1st biggest fear is cockroaches
#3 When we were living in houses I hire Orkin, especially since those big American cockroaches that everyone calls water bugs, except they are not water bugs they are Giant roaches are common here in El paso, I guess the good thing is they don’t really infest your home they just like to stop by and visit every once in awhile like spiders, the bad news is they are GROSS, seriously I had never seen one before I moved here and the first time I did, I was peeing and it was like 3 in the morning and I ended up in my bathtub with my pants around my ankles screaming bloody murder for my husband, who came in killed it and called it a water bug….smart man except google wasn’t his friend, Also last Friday they came to spray my apartment for bugs(not Orkin, the company the apartments hire, but apparently unlike Orkin I was suppose to remove everything from my cupboards and I hadn’t so they didn’t spray, told me to tell the office when I wanted them to come)
#4 There is a facebook trade sight here that I like to use a lot, it’s perfect because you can get rid of the things you don’t need and exchange it for the things you do, and I spend a fair amount of time meeting people for trades
#5 I am on a fair amount of medication at night because of my back so I have a very hard time waking up in the mornings
I think I have you pretty caught up at this time, so on with my play by play of the day
Monday night I couldn’t sleep at all, I was tossing and turning for hours, finally at about 4am I asked my husband to wake me up before he left for work, because I knew I wouldn’t end up waking up with the munchkins for school, and the schools here hire attendance nazis, seriously late 4 times in a year and they call the courts on you…
7:45 am(the exact time my oldest should be getting to his first class) The husband comes home during his PT break and realizes we are all still asleep, so I wake up to him yelling for them to get up, we are late
7:47 am Panic attack because HELLO we are late and the attendance Nazis are going to be on my ass
7:55 am Remember that C had been complaining the night before that it burned when she peed, and A had been coughing up a lot of mucus
8:00 am Hatch brilliant plan to bring both munchkins to the doctor…2 birds one stone right?
8:10 am fix the munchkins some cereal, go to set C’s down and see roach crawl across the wall
Toss C behind me, push table to the side, scream like I am gonna die and wait for husband to kill the little fucker.
8:15 am CRY…Yes a lot of crying for fear of my house ending up infested with roaches, all because they didn’t spray and of course probably one of my neighbors had them nasty things and now they got sprayed and are seeking sanctuary at my not sprayed house
Somewhere between sobs I asked the husband to call the rental office, and apparently they don’t open until 10 am…cue the tears
8:30 am Bring the munchkins to the doctor
10:00 am finally actually see the doctor, she was red and got cream, he has allergies and got meds and they both got notes for being late to school
10:30 am finally leave doctors, drop C off at school first then A
10:35 am Call rental office, they inform me that pest control can not come until Friday…FRIDAY? OH HELL NO I ain’t livin with no roaches for a week we all know how fast they procreate…nope nope nope
10:37 am text the husband about the pest control
10:45 am Go to Kmart check bug sprays and realize if I use any of them I will probably murder my cat, decide against cat murder
11:00 am go get gas and run into the gas station, come out and realize I missed a call, drive home
11:10 am Return the phone call and find out it was C’s school nurse, apparently shortly after dropping her off she spilled her entire lunch tray down the front of herself, Do you want to guess what was for lunch? If you guessed spaghetti you would be correct
11:30 am head over to the school to bring C new clothes, because heaven forbid they keep some of those extra clothes around the nurses office
12:00 am head home Clean every crack and crevice in my house with bleach(this took awhile so just pretend in the next few time slots I wrote clean every crack and crevice with bleach along with whatever else I did)
(Also spend the next few hours randomly opening cabinets trying to find a roach, yes I am that AH HA Gotchya kind of person, did not find any)
12:30 pm husband calls to tell me the woman he was suppose to meet and do a trade with didn’t show and pretty much cost him his lunch break, we hang up and I remember I need to cry to him so
1:00 pm call my husband and cry about how I can’t live with roaches, how I am not going to cook in that kitchen, and I want ORKIN
1:15 pm Call Orkin, schedule someone to come between 4-6pm that day…that’s better although the Orkin lady telling me every little thing about roaches, how they are treated, so on and so forth, no bueno people I was then relaly freaked out, so I spent the rest of the time until it was time to pick up the munchkins sitting on my door stoop
3:15 pick up munchkins, A is STARVING, take him to 7-11 for a hot dog
4:00 pm attempt to finally pay my bills and manage my bank account while impatiently waiting for Orkin to show up
4:15 pm knock on door(now people this was actually the good part of the day) Orkin GUY YAY! Bonus: It was the same Orkin guy from my last house
he inspects my house while I follow him around asking if he sees anything and pretty much tells me if I hire them I am wasting my money because I do not have a roach infestation, and I probably seen a baby “water bug” which was probably ran out of the sewer when they sprayed the other apartments
Still Skeptical
He goes out to the truck comes back in and starts spraying the hell out of my cabinets (keep in mind I am still standing behind him)
He looks at me and says “See?” Uhh no see what? “That was roach tear gas, if you had them they would have came running out”
WTF? You mean to tell me you were so confident I didn’t have them you were willing to bet my life on it, because let me tell you, had a bunch of roaches came running out I would have had a heart attack and died on the spot, right there on the kitchen floor surrounded by roaches and the Orkin man…what a tragedy that would have been.
Then to make me feel better he put some place and a little bait and told me I still wasn’t going to catch anything except maybe the American Roach (aka water bug) but that it couldn’t hurt because it would kill them too
Then he says oops I forgot this, and left me the bait
I am thinking the Orkin guy knew I was a spazz guys, and he was my hero, okay he is and probably always will be my hero
I’m not stupid though, pest control is coming Friday, those big fuckers are not welcome here either, nor are spiders, or any other freaking bug
5:15 pm Run out pick up munchkins prescriptions
5:30 pm Arby’s for dinner, because yea I am not friggin cooking
6:00 pm go to meet some lady for another trade: WAIT WAIT WAIT, TEXT NOTHING, WAIT fuck it, go into the store to do my shopping
6:40 pm Get a text from said lady I was suppose to meet
Her: Are you still here?
Me: Yea I am in the store
Her: Okay I will wait a few minutes sorry my phone was dead and I forgot what kind of car your drive
Me: I can send my husband out with my phone and he can tell you where we are parked
Her: Ok
6:55pm See my husband back in store…with the stuff we are suppose to be giving her, Uh whats going on?
Apparently she decided to run in and get bread after I said I was sending my husband out, so husband had to find her in the bread section
7:00 pm Realize I am missing The Originals and freak out, shit that was the only thing I was looking forward to
7:45 pm pick up something from a friend
8:00 pm (15 minutes after 1 munchkins bed time and an hour before the others) get home
8:15 pm start A on his home work, get C ready for bed
8:20 pm Put C to bed
8:25 pm help A with homework, get frustrated, hand homework help off to daddy
8:30 pm C is up to tell me something
8:35 pm C is up to tell me something
8:40 pm C is up to tell me something (Are we seeing the pattern)
8:50 pm decide to put my powdered sugar into my canister, actually miss the canister almost completely and put powdered sugar all over my floor
8:51 pm C walks out “Hey mommy there is sugar on the floor
YUP that is when I just gave up on any hope of saving the day